My birth story…..
Cadence Ryann Houser was born March 8, 2009 at 2:35 p.m. at St. Mary’s Hospital in Waterbury, CT. She weighed 7 lbs. 15 ounces and was 19 inches in length.
Her story starts at midnight that same day. Mom (me) woke up feeling contractions coming every 3-4 minutes. They lasted about 30 seconds long. Because there was a night just a few days before where I thought it might be THE night, I wanted to be sure this was real, so I waited an hour before waking up my husband Ben. Around 1 a.m. I awoke him and said “I think this is real.” I told him to continue to try to sleep while I took a shower. I wanted to see if I drank some water and showered for a bit if they would go away. They did not.
I came out of the shower and Ben was watching television. I asked him “What are you doing? Go back to sleep!” But he would not. I think he was excited it was finally happening! The contractions continued. I called my mom and texted some friends to ask them to pray for me. The contractions were coming a little quicker so I called our doula, Carrie to let her know I thought I was in labor. We talked on the phone around 2 a.m. and discussed how my labor was progressing. We agreed that I would call her again in about an hour to give her an update and should call the hospital at that time to let them know I was in labor. I just didn’t feel it was time to go to the hospital yet….
Around 3 a.m. I called Carrie and told her the contractions were now coming between 2:30 – 3:00 minutes lasting 30-45 seconds. We agreed that she should drive over to our house and we would continue from there. However, about 20 minutes later my contractions were 2-2:30 apart and lasting between :45 – 1:00. I thought since the hospital was 35-40 minutes away we should instead drive straight there rather than meeting Carrie at our house. We called Carrie on her cell phone to give her a heads up and Ben finished loading up the car. Shortly thereafter we headed to the hospital.
It was nearly a full moon outside and very peaceful. My biggest fear was that the car ride would be unbearable, but it was not. We listened to the Hypnobirthing CD that I had been practicing with over the last two months and called my dad along the way and told him I was in labor… Ben and I joked as we drove and the car ride was very pleasant. One of my biggest fears was that the car ride would be long and unbearable, but it was so very easy. I arrived at the hospital through the emergency room because it was nearly 4:00 a.m. (which was actually now 5 a.m. due to the “spring ahead” time change.) I walked into the emergency room while Ben parked the car and told the woman at the desk that I was in labor. Carrie was there when we got there and I was very happy to see her!
They brought a wheelchair for me and I asked if I could use it to put all of our stuff in (and that I would walk.) We had packed the car up with so many items!!! They asked… “did your water break?” And I honestly wasn’t sure!!! So they said I should ride in the wheelchair just in case. The three of us, Ben, Carrie and I went to our room and Ben went back to the car to get the rest of our things. The nurse hooked me up to the machine to check the babies heartbeat and everything looked good! The contractions were intensifying, but I was staying on top of them pretty good! The bad news came a couple minutes later when the midwife checked my cervix and I was only 1-2 centimeters dialated and hardly effaced at all. Those words were hard to hear. She then said we could either return home or get a room at the Holiday Inn. I was like WHAT?!?!? I was thinking, ahhhhh my contractions are now under 2 minutes apart and lasting close to a minute long. Some of them were coming one right after another. So then the midwife felt my stomach during my next contraction and said, “stay for a couple hours and we’ll see how you do.”
Thank God! I did not want to drive home and then come BACK to the hospital. She wasn’t exactly the nicest or warmest midwife as I will explain more later in the story.
For the next four hours I labored while the contractions got a little more intense, but they were still managable. We filled the tub with water and I got in it to labor. We thought it was okay because the nurse said we could use anything in the room to labor. However, the midwife came into the room and basically started yelling at us… telling us that the tub would slow down my contractions. She was rude and mean and so I was rude back. I couldn’t believe this woman was yelling at me during LABOR! I told her the contractions had not slowed down and her response was that she’s been doing this a long time! I told her we didn’t know we couldn’t go in… and she blabbed on and on. I ignored her and just said sarcastically that I would keep in mind for my NEXT BABY!” So after I yelled back and told her to stop yelling at me…. she softened her tone and was all nice-nice. I was so annoyed with her that I didn’t respond to anything else she said. I just got back in the bed. Thankfully she mentioned that a different midwife would be taking over because her shift was over. THANK GOD!
A little while later Deb, the second midwife, came in to check my cervix and I was dialated at 6 centimeters and 90 percent effaced. That was a RELIEF! So then I asked if we could get in the tub and she said Yes. So we filled the tub and I was able to return to it. It felt so good to sit in the hot water with the jets blowing on my back.
The contractions intensified a lot over the next few hours and it started to get pretty tough. Ben would push on my back and Carrie would also massage my backside because I was having a lot of back labor. That was the hardest part, the back labor.
Deb returned a hour or two later and asked if I would still like to move over to the Birthing Center (I was in the regular maternity ward at this time because you aren’t allowed to be admitted to the Birthing Center until you are dialated at 5 centimeters.) The birthing center is the area in the hospital where you birth naturally – without drugs or use of any other medical interventions. I wanted as natural a birth as possible. My plan was for a water birth. I didn’t want any doctor insisting I needed an epidural or pitocin or any sort of surgery. By the way, if you have time, watch Ricki Lake’s documentary “The Business of Being Born.” It will tick every woman off who felt like the doctor pushed them into something they didn’t truly want.
Despite the very hard back labor, I still wanted to birth naturally… It was tough. Ben and I quickly walked over to the birthing center (because I didn’t want anyone hanging in the hallway to see me go through a contraction.) As soon as I got to the birthing center I immediately got into the tub. I labored there for a short while and then my water broke. At that point the contractions were nearly one on top of each other – intensifying greatly! I felt like I wasn’t getting any sort of break inbetween contractions. Deb asked me to get out of the tub so they could make sure everything was progressing well and that my fluid was still okay… They found meconium in my amniotic fluid so I was told I couldn’t birth in the water, because it could be harmful to the baby if she swallowed any of the meconium. However, I was able to continue to labor in the birthing center. Deb asked if I felt ready to push and I said I wasn’t sure. It wasn’t much longer until the “urge” was there. I was really tired at this point. Just extremely exhausted!!! But I wanted this baby OUT!
I started to push the baby out and the pain that started from the pushing completely masked the back labor I had been feeling for the past few hours. So while the back labor felt like it was gone, a whole new set of pains set in. But I didn’t care, I knew I was close to having this baby!
As I continued to push, I felt the burning sensation that you read about and knew she must be nearly out. Once I heard, “I can see her head! She has a full head of hair,” I was so relieved. I asked if they really saw her head and they all said Yes! I really was almost there!!! For about 30 minutes I continued to push and when she finally came out, I was so happy… so relieved. My baby was finally here!!!!! The sound of her cry was amazing. I was never so happy to hear a baby cry in all my life!
They immediately placed her on my chest and began to wipe her down. I immediately fell in love with this girl. I looked up at Ben and he was sobbing. I was crying too. I was so overwhelmed with emotion from the 13.5 hours of labor. I just kept saying to Cadence “I am so happy you’re finally outta my tummy.” She just looked at me as if to say, “Mom, I was so warm in your tummy! Why did you make me come out?” It was such a cute, little sad face!!! Her pouty little bottom lip was out… so incredibly precious!
Nearly immediately they asked if I would like to try to breastfeed and I said Yes! I know a lot of times breastfeeding can be difficult and I had read that if the baby is immediately placed on your belly or chest, you have a lot better chance of successfully breastfeeding off the get-go. They couldn’t be more right! It took just a few minutes and Cadence latched on – no problems! Another relief! She was such an alert little baby – just looking around the room and taking it all in. I just couldn’t believe my baby was here. The nearly 10 months of carrying this baby around and she was here! She was real! All those kicks and hiccups I had felt were from this cute little thing….
A little bit later they weighed her, measured her and just checked out everything to make sure she was a healthy baby. Indeed she was!!! We passed on most of the vaccinations, but did the PKU test and had some Vitamin K drops ready to go instead of her getting it via injection. She’ll thank us later for the lack of needles she had to endure her first day on earth!! ; )
The nurse and midwives tended to us and the baby (I will spare the specific details!) We had our first visitors around 6 p.m. Our friends Mark and Claudia Castro were the first to visit us! And shortly thereafter our friends, the Khodas stopped by. Then just a few hours later we were ready to return home! Because Cadence was born without the use of drugs, forceps, vacuums or CSection, we were allowed to leave within 12 hours of her birth. We were leaving the hospital less than 20 hours after arriving. It was nice to be able to return home and sleep in our own bed!!!
All in all, it was a very hard day – both mentally and physically. At times I wanted to give up and take the drugs, but I also wanted to stick to the birth plan that I had pictured over the last 10 months. Birthing is hard and at times very difficult. My advice to anyone who goes naturally is to take one contraction at a time! It is so worth it in the end.To all the woman out there reading this, you can do it too! Your body was made to give birth! Don’t give in to all the hype that doctors need to “save us” from labor. After giving birth, you will feel empowered… that you can do ANYTHING!
Everyone tells you “Oh I love being a mom, or I love being a dad,” but you don’t quite “get it” until you are one yourself. An amazing experience and one I will never forget. I love my little girl!